The Creative Hole

Married

2007-07-09T00:08:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, and I'm married now.

Why Japanese kids are better than us in school.

2007-07-09T00:04:00.000-07:00

THIS might be the most amazing peice of non-trad that I have ever seen. It's from Japan, and it's a Samsun-sponsored video with people flipping cards, turning around, etc, to create a live-action animation. Let me repeat that last little bit, LIVE-FRIKKIN-ACTION ANIMATION. Check it out.

Now it is the time on sprokets when we dance

2007-04-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Why, do you ask are we all dancing like uptight Germans trapped in the psychodrama of the early 1990's? Because yesterday morning-ish I went to kinkos (it's like a little Newark right here at home), but instead of leaving with only bitterness and anger, I was actually happy because, I SENT MY BOOK OUT!!! Yes, any day now the first run of el libro de Texamo will hit desks in Slingshot (Dallas), The richards Group (also Dallas) and Leo Burnett(Chicago). Now these are only "critiques" but who knows, maybe the stars will align and the gods will smile down upon me (even without the sacrifice, stupid zoning laws), and they will offer me a job; a real honest-to-god, sweet-fancy-moses, Jesus-Harold-and-Kumar JOB!!! But again, that is not guaranteed, nor is it completely likely, but hey, it's a step in the right direction, and for now, BRING ON THE KRAFTWERK!!

Killer Polaroid

2007-04-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

This absolutely bitchin little non-trad is from a firm called Santa Clara down in Sao Paulo, Brazil. I think it might have been done before, but still it is a pretty bitchin idea. Or at least I like it, what then. Oh, and on a completely random note whomever wrote this ad for Starburst Berries and Cream, is FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!!! I think that's it is totally ingenious, and I don't care what anyone says!

Finally: JOB=HAPPINESS

2007-04-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

At first I was a host, and it was boring; then for a while I was the assistant-manager of a cool little bar in downtown, and it was ok. But naturally the universe decided to right itself and make me hate my job again, as I was moved to the breakfast shift (read up before 5AM, six days a week), and that SUCKED. Any of you that know me, know that I am not a morning person; for me "too early" is almost any time before 2 in the afternoon (well, depending on what I have to do). So the horrible pay, incredibly long hours, complete lack of respect from both my staff and fellow management, and inability to get anything past beaurocracy finally caught up with me and I told my boss "no mas." I am now a server, bartender, and barback and I am soooooo much happier. If you're in downtown Portland and feel like Thai food, you should come in, and tip well.

Riding the g-train.

2007-04-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

I just got Google Earth, and sweet jesus that thing is addictive. If you're playing the counting Kevin's vices home game, thats: cajun food, Futurama, energy drinks, cigars, sleep, xbox, throwing bricks off overpasses, masterbation, and drinking puppy blood. (Just kidding, I don't have a masterbation addiction).

Why do we care again?

2007-02-09T12:22:00.000-08:00

When did being a money-grubbing whore raise someone to near-Mother-Theresa status!? Anna Nicole Smith died yesterday, and that sucks for her family, and I feel sorry for them for losing someone, but WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE CARE!? I work at a bar and when I read it off a newswire aloud to some folks at the bar you would have thought it was someone in their family. One woman actually shed a tear! Now perhaps I am not looking at all the facts, maybe Anna Nicole truly is this wonderful woman that, for some reason, people think she is, lets make a tally.
Born in Texas (+1, would be 2, but she was born in Mexia)
Was in playboy (+1)
Moved on to actual porn (-1, now remember this is the how-close-to-a-saint-she-should-be-scale)
Let's call it "pre-Trimspa" (-1)
Marry's old rich guy (+1, good for him) for his money (-1)
Conceives old guys baby (+1) again for the money (-1)
Lenghty legal battle with guys kids (-1)
Gets own show on E! (-1, it made the Real World look like In the Actor's Studio)
Goes all Paris Hilton on her fame, but (like Paris) has no real warrant for it (-1)
Dies of "heart failure" the same way that Mama Cass "choked on a sandwich" (push until the autopsy)
TOTAL: -3
So, on that note, people you need to realize that she wasn't a saint, she didn't help ANYONE, she was only mildly entertaining (in Guess jeans or out) but not when she opened her mouth, and she was a bit of a gold digger, and we are treating her like someone who needs to be mourned. I'm sorry she died, her family must be in a hard place, but please people don't beatify this beast.

When did we get so stupid!?

2007-02-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

So I'm sure everyone and their mother has heard about this crap in Boston about the ATHF ads. And all I'm wondering is, WHEN DID AMERICA GET ITS HEAD SO FAR UP ITS OWN ASS THAT IT STARTED TO CUT OFF THE OXYGEN TO ITS BRAIN!? I mean it though people, before you shut down a large part of the city, and a huge track of river, and arrest two people, how about you check it out!!! With all the infinite wisdom of the US government, you'd think they wouldn't mistake an ad with a picture of a fake, 2D, moon creature for a TERRORIST PLOT! And the worst part is that they arrested the guys who developed and installed the ads, but the best part is that the guys knew it was BS, so in their post-release press conference they refused to answer any questions about anything other than, "Hairstyles from the 1970's." See America, that is what happens when you let fear-mongering morons run everything, they get outsmarted by guys in their 20's who can not only recite everything that Jim Brewer wanted to eat in Half Baked, but can also explain how the Central Hudson case will completely protect them from government harrasement. If they do end up going to actual prison, I'm going to move to a place with a less judgemental government, like Kyrgystan, Belarus, or possibly Iran. The moral of this whole rant is simple: 'Just because your a dumbass doesn't mean I'm wrong."

Wow-worthy nontrad from Spain

2007-01-31T10:18:00.000-08:00

I was clicking through AdverBox and I saw THIS wonderful peice of alternative media from Zapping, Madrid. As you will see, they sew seeds into the cover of a pressbook for "The Jungle Book 2" so, over time, the cover grows. Yes, grass sprouts from the front and back of the book and slowly engulfs it. This is definitely a wow moment, and I really want one of those books!

Holy Fucking Shit!!

2007-01-28T21:11:00.000-08:00

I FINISHED MY BOOK!!!!!!!! It's currently *hopefully* on Deb's desk being looked over and torn to shreds, but hell draft 1 is done!!!!!!!!!

What then

2007-01-27T14:53:00.000-08:00

I don't care what anyone on their commercial says, Sam Adams blows. It's really easy to get people from Boston to praise their swill when they don't have anything to compare it to but the water. So here's my suggestion, when you interview people for your commercials try to find someone who's not a Masshole. And on that note, GO SOX!

Turkish bilboard

2007-01-26T10:28:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought the art of the bilboard was, once again, starting to curl into a ball and die, I saw this out of home from Turkey. It does what I feel any good ad should, it forces you to take notice, and in the end you feel a bit pissed, but also you realize "wow that was witty."

Good microsoft ads.

2007-01-24T23:17:00.000-08:00

I use a Mac. I don't have anything against Bill Gates, or Microsoft as a corporation, but I just don't like their product, and wow do their ads tend to hover between "crap" and "I-tried-to-get-the-bowels-going-so-I-ate-a-lot-of-borsch-crap" then they came out with THIS and more importantly they teemed up with comedian Demtri Martin, who is very funny. Therefore they wrapped most of my favorite ad things (humor, fake societies, and people who talk like they had full frontal lobe lobotomies) into one. And now for probably the only time I'll ever say this, "go microsoft!"

Coke vs Ginsu-cat

2007-01-24T22:54:00.000-08:00

Well it seems that Coca Cola has settled out of court over their latest South American ad campaign, appearently it ripped offthis video from the ska band 7 Seconds of Love. Please, please take a minute to see this video, it is very, very awesome. The song gets a bit annoying but, in case you didn't know, there are NINJA CATS!!!!

Box o baby batter

2007-01-24T21:44:00.000-08:00

HERE is why I both love and hate the French. So here's the short and skinny on this French artist's project, he is trying to collect one ton of human sperm. Let me repeat that, ONE TON OF HUMAN SPERM. That is a whole lot of sticky pages....

Been a while

2007-01-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

So, not that anyone reads this, but if you do I'm sorry I dropped out of existence for a bit there. In the interim I got a new job (I now run a bar downtown), and I've finished my book!!!!!!!!!!! I'm printing it off to send down to Deb tomorrow, and I'm very, very happy. I'll start to actually write regularly again, I promise, as I've gotten the ed bug back, and it's here to stay, like a rash, or herpes only it doesn't burn when I pee and I don't have an unending desire to drive a Ford Bronco.

Warning..

2006-09-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

WARNING: I saw this peice of viral from NBC on YouTube, and something strange happenned. I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself, then blacked out and woke up five hours later strapped to an operating table in a teaching hospital in Tiajuana. Ok, so the pissed myself and TJ parts aren't true, but the video is funny (a hell of a lot funnier than anything actually on NBC), so take a look. Oh and to all those making "I hate NBC" videos on YouTube, I hope you know just how much you're helping the brand...morons.

I still love you CPB!

2006-09-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying that I absolutely love the "Safe Happens" commercials from Crispin Porter, I think they're some of the best, most well-written commercials in recent memory, and I honestly think they might be the best car commercials I have ever seen. And then they made this one. I agree with a few others out there in the blog-o-sphere that this just goes too far, and is a bit pretentious. It's a commercial that talks about another commercial, WTF? So Crispin, let me again say that I love your work, really love it, but this one has missed the mark.

Bitchin non-trad for the Canadian Red Cross

2006-09-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

Red Cross Canada'snew campaign for World First Aid Day is amazing. I really like non-trad media, and I really like screwing with people, and this is a perfect combination of the two. It's from Downtown Partners out of Ontario, Canada, and I really, really, dig it. For serial.

"Lo Def" Sony Spot

2006-09-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's the deal. McKinney-Silver has recently cranked out this spot for Sony's HiDef Tv's, and I really like the spot, but there's only one thing about it that I don't get. Is it bad that I would rather watch cake-mation (LoDef) NASCAR than the real thing, even if it were HiDef? Also, *INSERT GENERIC I DON'T GET WHY PEOPLE WATCH NASCAR RANT HERE* I do like the spot though.

To all new creatives..

2006-09-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a list of crap to do, and not do, from Mack Simpson of Dieste Harmel (one of the fastest growing Hispanic ad firms in the country). It's for new creatives, and is pretty straight-forward. Take five minutes and take a look.

Slow news day...

2006-09-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

SCENE: Very dusty and run-down Starbucks in Pigspittle, Oregon (it's near Prineville). Two men in overalls sit on bar stools, twirling their Kaiser mustaches.
MAN 1: Why them thar cups gots naked ladies on 'em.
MAN 2: Do Jesus Ebner, you done be right. We gots to writes us our Sen-A-tar.
ENTER MAN IN BLACK SUIT.
MAN IN SUIT: Goddam it people it's a friggin drawing of a topless Mermaid! The only way you could find this erotic and titalating is if you've been stranded in a Peruvian men's prison, high in the Andes, for the past 35 years. Lay the "f" off.
MAN IN SUIT DROPS PANTS, MOONS CAMERA.

And SCENE.

On a side note, pictures seem to work on my blog now. Yeah!

Awesome Xbox spot.

2006-09-08T13:50:00.000-07:00

This is a really cool Xbox commercial, that for some reason has been banned on US tv. I honestly don't get it, but I guess whatever has crawled up the censors' asses seems to have had puppies. Still, check it out.

Another good state spot

2006-09-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I will admit that I have seen some pretty good ads for state lotteries in the past (I hope ya'll saw the one with all the Lambos from a few years back), and I will go on to say that this amazes me. Back home (Texas) our state lottery ads suck. I mean they are really really bad (unless by the hand of God they've improved 100 fold since I left in 2002). This one for the Minnesota Lottery, brought to you by Minneapolis' own Cole+McVoy is pretty good, and not only because it isn't about winning money, but also because it has a bear in the kitchen.

Hooo-eeee it's fair time

2006-09-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well I guess everyone is having their state fair this time of year. I know that most of you have seen the ads for the Oregon State Fair that just ended (they had Bigfoot and Art Alexakis, the guy from Everclear, in them), and I'm sure most of you thought, "hey for local ads, these don't suck!" But maybe some of you haven't seen the ads for the LA County Fair, which in my mind is way to oxymoronic for words, so here they are. If some LA natives (Idealogy) can realize this about people from LA, why can't the rest of them understand it and stay out of the rest of the country?

Just saying people...

2006-09-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the blog got off to a rought start, but I will add more ad stuff to it today. First though let me get something off my chest. When you go to a restaurant, please, please, PLEASE keep in mind that while the people are there to serve you food, we are NOT your servants. Do not snap at wait staff, don't expect us to be able to read your minds, and whatever you do, don't belittle us in front of the whole damn world. If there is a problem, we will fix it, and it probably won't cost you a dime. Our entire careers are based aroung making people as happy as possible for little hour segments in their lives. When you walk in, we devote our lives to making everything perfect for you until you walk out, but for the love of God... WE ARE PEOPLE TOO. You know the whole eraser and pencil thing, we screw up some times, but you know what, we fix it, always. So to that guy who came in today and ended up getting two glasses of very nice wine for free, but still felt the need to berate me twice (both inside and outside the restaurant) all because you overheard a conversation about garbage (that had nothing to do with the restaurant or food, and I was whispering) and "lost you appetite" (but still managed to finish your whole damn meal), you can go to hell, and I hope you catch VD on the way down. Sorry, but he kind of ruined my day, and I BENT OVER BACKWARDS to appease this asshole. The thing that makes it all a bit better is that you have to go back to the sun-baked dog shit that is Arizona, and I get to stay here in green Oregon. Jackass.

Why can't Mtv be as good as their commercials?

2006-08-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

Ok so here's a TV spot for music TELEVISION (I'm not sure who made it) and let me just say, "wow, this ad is 100 times better than anything actually on Mtv." I remember a time when the programming, or more importantly lack there of, on Mtv was far better than the simple video clips of Neil Armstrong planting a modified flag, but no more. Have we finally come to the point where Music Television has become so bottom-line-centric that they will spend more time promoting bad TV than fixing it? Trust me, I love the idea of people dumping money into uber-creative advertising, but seriously people, this isn't the Super Bowl, why can't the show be as good as the commercial breaks?

Now this is good viral

2006-08-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

I'm sure everyone's seen this lovely peice of viral for Smirnoff Teas done by BBH NY, but it's awesome. It does remind me of a certain Dynamite Hack video that came out a few years ago though.... (if you don't know what I mean search for "Boys in the Hood").

Numero Uno

2006-08-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

So a mere 2 months ago I graduated from college after four long and wonderful years of school. While there I met my fiance, a few of my best friends, and myself. I learned everything from the history of the study of physics (I was even a TA for it) to the ins and outs of the creative process to how much Red Bull is too much Red Bull. These were truly the best years of my life, and I wouldn't trade anything for them. Now though I am out in that big, scary, real world that people were warning me about for years and with no thoughts to grad school I have only one mission at hand, find a job. Now being the bright strapping young buck that I am I figuired it'd be easy. I'd just walk into an agency with my wonderfully crafted book (which I would have had finished by long before graduation) hand it to a CD and be offered a job on the spot (complete with a retainer of enough cash to let me find a decent apartment and still have money left over to buy a beer and a sandwhich). In all reality my book is (almost) done, I work at a Thai Restaurant, and the only way I can't find a decent Reuben anywhere...